Touched by His Noodly Appendage

Filled Jogan prompt for xxmakemecrazier

In which Derek wears a pink silk bow

”You’ve got to be kidding me!” Julian’s eyes felt like they were going to pop out any second. It was the most ridiculous thing he had ever seen, including that one time the Brightman twins had persuaded everyone in Windsor to dress in drag for Mother’s Day. The images from that day still haunted him, but this was even worse.

Logan was wearing a spectacular wide-brimmed pink hat, complete with glitter, gemstones and one dainty peacock feather, swaying dangerously from side to side with every movement Logan made. Julian knew he would not have looked twice if it had been a Windsor wearing it, considering they were all insane and dressed up at any given opportunity, but this was Logan. Snarky, proud, committed Logan, who did what he did because he could not stop himself, because he believed in it whole-heartedly and because his passion burned for it. Never, ever because it was silly, and yet he was radiating silly now. He was sitting on his bed, fiddling with his iPad, notes and open textbooks everywhere, the very picture of serious effort except for that beast of a hat, as fitting and inconspicuous as a clown at a funeral.

At his outburst, Logan looked up. To Julian’s delight, a red tinge spread across his face, and he quickly turned his eyes back to his iPad. Despite clearly wanting to, he made no move to take off the hat.

“Why on earth are you wearing that… thing?” Julian demanded, half expecting a thrilling tale of alien abduction. Only a forced probing by extra-terrestrial beings seemed reason enough to justify such unStuartly dress.

Logan gave a mumbled response, the only discernible words being “dare” and “Derek”. Of course Derek would do such a thing. He knew that Logan would rather go a week without coffee than back away from a challenge, and Derek’s own love of competitions and challenges was legendary within Stuart. Even the freshmen knew to stay away from him and decline all invitations when he got that manic gleam in his eyes. And now Logan had taken the bait. It would be hilarious if Logan did not look so very uncomfortable.

“Lo, I thought you knew better than to actually accept a dare from Derek. You usually have more sense than to egg him on. I should parade you around campus to make you learn your lesson. For your own good.”
“I wasn’t egging him on! I was just calling out for him and he insisted I’d said ‘dare’, and not ‘Der’, as if he can actually tell the difference. He’s been aching for something to focus on all morning, ever since they had to cancel rowing practice. I only agreed because I figured he’d be less of a pain in the neck if I did. Turns out, not so much. He’s actually annoying me right now and he’s not even here!”

Julian’s snigger was interrupted as Derek banged the door open, pointing an accusing finger at Logan.

“You! You aren’t supposed to be hiding in here! Your dare was to wear the hat proudly! That means everybody gets to see you!”

“But Derek; it’s bedazzled! I feel like one of Amanda’s crafts project.” Logan whined.

“I actually think it looks quite fetching,” interjected Julian, earning him a searing glare from Logan.

“Alright then, it I have to leave this room wearing this hat, then Julian has to do a dare too.” Julian stiffened. He turned to face Derek, the slow feeling of dread trickling down his spine intensified by the evil grin on Derek’s face. His friend screwed up his face in concentration for a moment before fixing Julian with a smug look that told him quite plainly that he was dead meat.

“Okay. Julian, I dare you to… kiss Logan! On the mouth. For at least thirty seconds, and I’ll be counting, don’t you worry.”

Julian felt the bottom drop out of his stomach. He could hardly refuse, or Logan would be suspicious. On the other hand, he would be kissing Logan, which would be wonderful, but terrible. He realised he had been quiet for too long just a second or two too late. Both his friends were now looking at him, and to his dread, he saw something like a question in Logan’s eyes. A feeling of reckless abandon overtook him. He might as well get it over with.

“Alright then,” he told Derek, and before he could change his mind, he cupped Logan’s cheek with one hand and reached for the back of his neck with the other, leaned in and met his lips.

It was warm and soft and so dangerous. But it was glorious. Logan’s lips started to move against his, and without thinking, he opened his mouth to deepen the kiss. Then he realised what he was doing, but before he could pull back, Logan’s tongue was in his mouth and the rest of the world could go die in a fire for all he cared. He moaned in the back of his throat and the sound startled Logan enough to pull back and stare at him, wide-eyed.

The silence that stretched between them seemed to go on forever, like a stubborn string of cheese, Julian thought, defying every attempt to part company with a greasy pizza.

Logan coughed.

“Well, that was extremely heterosexual,” he smirked.

“Yeah, well, I’m bi, so shut your ugly face.” Julian bit back. Logan’s eyes widened even further as he mouthed the word ‘bi’. Julian turned to Derek.

“I hope you’re happy now.” Derek just grinned, his eyes on Logan.

“Are you kidding? I’ve been planning this for weeks now!”

“What! Why would you even – I can’t – “

“Julian, relax,” Logan soothed, “It’s alright. Besides, we still need to come up with Derek’s dare.”
The grin slid off Derek’s face.

“My dare?”

“Of course. This is a three-way dare. You’ve made me wear a ridiculous hat and you made Jules snog me, so now it’s your turn. What do you think, Jules. Let him run around campus naked?”

“Naked? That seems a bit harsh.” Derek’s horrified expression mellowed a little. Julian reached for Logan’s hat and pulled off the delicate pink silk ribbon around the crown. “You can tie this around little Derek. And mind you make it a nice, big bow.”

Ten minutes later found Julian and Logan howling with laughter in the common room, clutching at each other for support as a very naked Derek whipped out of sight, followed by every other Stuart.

Julian could feel tears running down his cheeks, but he was to busy gasping for breath to do anything about it. Suddenly, there was a warm, big hand with long fingers on his cheek, wiping the tears away. He gasped and looked up right into Logan’s curious eyes.

“You know, there’s a reason I sent Derek away outside,” he whispered. He was so close Julian could practically hear his own synapses exploding.

“W-why is that?”

“More time for kissing.”

And that was when Julian decided that Logan’s hat was his favourite ever.